Posted by Mrs. Emery
From Caitlyn: Your character is in the middle of a coffee shop and time grinds to a halt. What happens?
Write for 10 minutes. Post your piece to comments!
Posted on February 2, 2016, in Writing Prompt. Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.
It was cold outside. The kind of cold that freezes your bones, but burns your cheeks. I knew for a fact that the only thing to cure this cold would be a cup of hot coffee. So after asking Siri for directions, and getting lost two or three times, I walked into to the warm heaven, known as Starbucks. The smell of the coffee, the chatter of costumers, and the warmth, blasted from the heaters, and my heavy coat, made this place a utopia. I patiently waited for my turn. The cashier lady finally says “Next costumer in line, please.” I gave her my order at the counter, and paid for the coffee, then sat down. Ten minutes flew by, and I sat through each one of them, imagining what tastes awaited my tongue. My name was called, so I picked up my purse, went to the counter, and as she smiled and held out the cup towards me, she stopped. She just stopped. I tried to wave my hand in front of her, but she didn’t move. She stopped talking, moving and she wasn’t the only one, for I had realized that the costumers stopped, as well. No one makes a noise. Things had stopped too. The crumbs of lemon pound cake, looked like they were falling out of the mouth of a newborn, were frozen in the air, the coffee a teen started to accidentally spill on herself, was stuck in midair. I check my watch, but it stopped working. I check the man across from me’s watch, but it has stopped too. 1:43 pm.
It has been 1:43pm for the last sixty years. I have tried to find others, like me, but everyone is frozen. No one has aged, but me. I am trapped in a world where no one lives. But these people are not dead. This has scared me. I have been scared, for sixty years. I want things to be the way they once were. I want it to be like the times, when I cared about what I wore, if I had the newest apps, and what hairstyle I have. I fear returning to that place, where it all began. But, I will return, it must be done, I refuse to die in fear. I return once more to the Starbucks. 1:43pm. I open the door, that hasn’t been locked in ages. 1:43pm. That baby is still eating, 1:43pm, that man should not be laughing, 1:43pm, the teen should have spilled coffee on herself by now. 1:43pm. I walk up to the counter. 1:43pm. The cashier is smiling to me. No. 1:43pm. She is laughing at me. 1:43pm.
By the way this was just a draft, so pardon the poor grammar. 🙂
I really like you draft.
I absolutely loved what you wrote!! The second sentence perfectly describes the cold, and your overall utilization of imagery and repetition made this a wonderful piece. I especially liked your ending. I want to know what happens next!!
I planned to just end it there. I wanted it to have a ‘Twilight Zone’ feel to it! I suppose I could give you an ending. 🙂
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