Best Worst Sentence Contest – Submission Deadline Extended
The contest is a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels.
It was inspired by the first best worst sentence, “It was a dark and stormy night.”
Each entry must consist of a single sentence. One entry per person.
Sentences may be of any length but we strongly recommend that entries not go beyond 50 or 60 words.
Sentences will be anonymous during voting.
Submission deadline is November 27. Email your sentences to Mrs. Emery
Below are some examples from the national contest.
We can’t let the dastards win,” said Piper Bogdonovich to her fellow gardener, Mr. Sidney Beckworth Hammerstein, as she clenched her gloved hands into gnarly, fuzzed fists, “because if I have to endure another year after which my Royal Puffin buttercups come in second place to Marsha Engelstrom’s Fainting Dove Tear Drop peonies, I will find a machine gun and leave my humanity card in the Volvo.”
Ozymandias looked upon his mighty statue and despaired, amazed that the sculptors could have gotten his nose so wrong and wishing the darned thing would just crumble into pieces and blow across the lone and level sands, but leaving his legs since they were actually rather flattering.
After weeks at sea, Captain Fetherstonhaugh and his hardy crew had at last crossed the halfway point, and he mused that the closest dry land now lay in the Americas, assuming of course that it was not raining there.
Turk strained at the controls of the Pulsar-Phased Adenoid Five Galactic Cruiser, trying desperately to pull up from an uncontrolled dive, until he suddenly remembered he was in space, and there is no up or down.
He tried to drown out her pleas for help by holding her head under the water, but it just wasn’t working – her head continuing to bob out of the water like a plastic duck or anything else that’s plastic.