Posted by Mrs. Robelo
From Kayle: Your antagonist loses someone close to them. What do they do? How does it affect how they treat your protagonist?
Write for 10 minutes. Post your piece to comments.
Posted on March 29, 2018, in Writing Prompt. Bookmark the permalink. 37 Comments.
Oh grandpa, I miss you so. I was young, I was little, I didn’t get the chance to really know you, to really understand who you really were. You were so kind, everyone says my dad is just like you, that I’m like my dad, so I guess we’re kind of alike then? I wish I had more of your traits, you sounds like a kind and forgiving man while I hold a coldness in my heart at times. We got the call to go to you, to see you in what may be your finale moments. I couldn’t come, I couldn’t go to see you. So, I stayed home and lived a little girl’s life until my dad returned home. That was the night you had passed. That night, I felt you in my dreams, I seen your face, heard your voice, I knew it was you. I know you were there. I know it.
Later on, I made one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made in my life. I regret it even to this day, and I wish to somehow make it up to you Grandpa. You always said my sister and I had beautiful voices, you loved to hear us sing. But on the most important day I could’ve ever sung at, I chickened out, I walked away from the mic because I was shy and embarrassed. I made an excuse, sayin it was too hard to sing at this time, and when I changed my mind and said I wanted too, it was too late. I still spoke though, I got on stage with my shaking hands and voice, and spoke the kindest words I could muster about you. I miss you grandpa, and I apologize for what I did, if I could change it now, I would. Please forgive me, I wish with all my heart now that I would’ve been able to do what I wanted too, but was too scared to do. But please know I’ll make it up one day, I will.
Any comments are appreciated, this is based off of my grandfather who passed away a few years ago. The events written in this was true and based off of what actually happened. I’m very vague because I’m ashamed of chickening out of something very important because I was selfish. I hope my grandpa forgives me and I get the chance to one day take the opportunity to sing for him like I should have. Again, comments are appreciated. 🙂 ❤
Well first off, I did not read the prompt fully, I just sort of wanted to get this off of my chest, but I hope this sort of matches the prompt, since I feel I’m sort of the antagonist in the situation who lost someone and turns against themselves rather than another person. I’m not against myself I just don’t like what I did than. Sorry this is so confusing and it doesn’t match the prompt! 😛
Well, while it didn’t really match the prompt, it’s a good letter, and I’m sorry that you had to face that. It’s a tough decision to make.
Thank you Alyssa, I’m getting over it now and trying to not have so much regret about backing out. Thank you for the kind comment. 🙂 ❤
I know what guilt feels like in those situations, and I know that you should try and let it go even though it’s hard. There’s nothing you can do to change the situation, so you’re just carrying around a weight that can only be lifted when you decide to forgive yourself.
Woah, got deep there lol 😛
Also, were you one of the people that was asking about CampWriMo? I can’t remember who all it was lol and your name looked familiar. ;P
Thank you Alyssa for your advice and kind words. I know I need to let it go and realize I need to change my perspective on the situation and forgive myself for something I did many years ago. Thank you, your comment may of had just changed everything and has given me peace of thought. ❤
Also, no, I did not discuss that with you, but if you don't mind me asking, what is that? 🙂
Do you know what NaNoWriMo is?
It’s a writing site which was made to challenge writers to write an entire novel in one month (November), but CampWriMo is similar, however you get to choose your word count. Writing starts on April 1st and you write up to however many words your count is, then at the end of the month you submit your final count for the month and you either win, or you hope to do better next year :P.
I added a link in case you want to join, and if you do, I can add you too my cabin with some of the other girls from here. You just have to create your profile and then add your goal word count, so I can put you in the cabin! 🙂
Oh! So its kind of like Nano in April? Is it for writing novels and is it free?:)
Yeah it’s Nano in April pretty much. And yeah, it’s free, you don’t actually put your novel on Camp, you just write it and then check your word count to see if you’ve won.
Oh! That sounds so cool! I just signed up and am checking my email for verification. 🙂 How do you win? 🙂
To win, you just have to create your project, and set up your word count; i.e., my word count is 25k, and then you just have to write that many words from April 1st – 31st
That sounds amazing! Can it be about whatever I want it to?
Yep! Some people even write Epics (really, really long poems) and other people write bio’s, fiction, nonfiction, really anything!
Wow! That’s so cool! I love poetry and can make a poem thousands of words long! Also, I just finished filling out my profile, what do I do next? 🙂
Just create your project, and if you want me to add you, give me your username 🙂
My name on there is Gabby L. 🙂
Do I have to create a project first?
Yeah, you do 🙂
Just made a project. 🙂
I added you!
Rage. It’s all I could feel. My mother’s wails filled the small cabin. I just stood there, unable to move or walk. I looked at my tearful siblings, the youngest clutching a dilapidated stuffed bear.
“I’m sorry, I wish it could be different.” Amos tried to console my mother. Tears scarcely brimmed his eyes.
Amos was a close friend of my fathers. They grew up together. Went into business together. Then one-day Amos told my father about a man who could make them rich beyond belief. After that day my father changed. Greed took over. Little by little the secure life we lived in fell to pieces. He became a drunk, borrowed money from everyone including the man who promised riches. We saw him less and less. Now. He’s dead. Left my mother and I to clean up the mess he started.
Amos said he was killed by his own gun. Typical of him. was probably drunker than the town drunk.
My father owed money. Lots of it. The only reason Amos is here, is so he can collect what’s owed. Unfortunately, after my father left for the last time, the farm had gone to shambles. We lost our cattle, barely made it off the crops we harvested. It’s a miracle we still have our land.
“It could have been different if your man didn’t drink his fortune away.” The snake leaning in the corner voiced.
“How dare you say that! If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” I snapped.
The man stood up straight, crossing his arms across his chest, he stepped out of the shadows.
“I’d watch your tongue boy.” The man threatened stepping closer to me.
“Clayton.” Amos eyed the man before turning his attention back to my mother. “Jenny, I know you’re grieving. But we need an answer.”
“we don’t have the funds!” My mother blubbered into her apron she desperately clutched.
“Jenny, Wes owes a lot of money to Clayton.” Amos looked anxious.
“Isn’t there any other option?” my mother begged.
“Well, your land could pay off most of the debt.” Amos bargained
“No. there’s no way you’re taking our land.” I shouted, my hands going into fists.
“Toby, its-“ my mother started, her eyes moist from her tears.
“Ma! Where would we live!” I pleaded.
“Your son has a point.” Clayton cleared his throat as all eyes fell on him. “How about this. Your boy here looks mighty strong. He can work for me until Wes’s debts been payed.”
“Oh yeah, so you can kill me to?” I countered.
Claytons eyes turned to daggers as they burned into my soul. “I wouldn’t have said that boy.” His voice shook as he tried to contain his anger.
“Toby, it’ll just be about a month.” My mother’s eyes pleaded. “This maybe the only way.”
“It’s good of you to do this.” Amos had a small smile as he stood with me.
“I’m just doing this so we can keep our farm.” I grumbled, taking the reins of my horse.
Nodding Amos walked to his horse waiting a few feet away. With a grunt I swung myself up onto my saddle.
“Cheer up boy.” Clayton snickered, walking his horse next to mine.
“It’s your fault my mother is losing two people today.” I retorted through my clenched teeth.
“I’d watch that mouth of yours from now on.” Clayton sneered.
“Or what?” I taunted.
“Don’t forget. You work for me now.” A crooked grin spread as he spurred his horse into a trot.
A shiver ran down my spine. Turning in my saddle, my eyes misted. My mother stood on the porch, a rag in her hands.
“I’ll return to you mama. I promise.” I whispered, as the farm grew distant.
Hope this matches the prompt! these characters are from a western book I’m writing. I thought it’d be cool put it in Toby’s POV, since the book’s written in Third person! Comments and Suggestions are always welcome! 🙂 😉
I love this Naomi! Awesome job!
Thanks Alyssa! 🙂
Wow! Absolutely amazing! I love the country vibe and the characters, and just everything about it! Amazing!!!! 😀
Thank you so much Gabby! 😀
The reality of the situation finally sinking in. The concerned words of his sidekick simply background noise as he tried to hold back tears. His fists clenched tightly at his sides, nails sinking into his skin. He tried to ground himself. And not do something stupid.
Gone. His best friend was gone.
His eyes betrayed him as tears began leaking out. They were barely registered as he looked over to where his companion once stood. Happy. Smiling. Always so happy. It wasn’t fair, he decided. Not fair at all. How there would be no justice for Caleb. How the villain would go away unharmed, unfazed. A man he once tolerated had now become his mortal enemy. Rage was growing inside him, a fire to get vengeance for Caleb.
“Wraith!” He finally acknowledged his sidekick, her hands furiously shaking his shoulders. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been out of it. His eyes danced over her worried expression, she was completely unaware of the extent of what has just unfolded. “What’s wrong?”
Could he even say the words? His thoughts drifted back to Caleb, remembering the good times. They had been the closest of friends since elementary school, they just clicked. He recounted the times growing up, sneaking out together and meeting up at the park. He closed his eyes seeing the park in his mind, smelling the summer night air. Caleb and him playing on the playground that was much too small for them. Thoughts flooded his mind of when life was simpler. When everything was full of late night talks, hot chocolate, and board games. And now it wasn’t. And now there was no more Caleb, as much as he wanted to deny it. The Caleb who had been there forever, who understood him. Gone.
His eyes fluttered open as he struggled to speak, “He’s gone.” His words were light and airy. He could feel the sinking in his chest as he had fully acknowledged the fact.
Confusion filled her face, not seeming to recognize the connection between the events just a while ago and his words. He didn’t think he could manage to explain even more. A whooshing was heard behind him resurfacing his rage. He rebuilt his impenetrable facade. He was a villain, and he had no issue playing the role.
“This is all your fau-” He spoke roughly, but stopped as he looked at the hero. The look of empathy on the hero’s face slowly wore down at his shield. His defenses crumbling, he knew that the hero understood. The pain. The meaning. And maybe, if even for just this moment, the villain himself.
“I’m sorry for your loss.” The words hit a nerve, part of him angry, but a large part of him just sad. So he thought back to Caleb and what he would do now. “I want to help.”
And he knew what Caleb would have wanted. But, he still needed a bit of revenge first. He figured Caleb would understand.
“I look forward to working with you.” He offered a small weak smile, a few stray tears making their way down his cheeks. He extended his hand to the hero. There was a mutual understanding between them at that moment. He knew that in some way Caleb would be proud of this decision. And so they shook hands.
This is absolutely amazing! You did a great job!
Thank you so much!
I loved this! I was totally not expecting that ending though…I liked it. It put a nice twist on the story.
Thank you! I’ve wanted to mess around a bit and see if I could write a villain who made the decision to go a different path instead of a more hate-filled one. I wasn’t sure if it was too cheesy, but I’m glad you liked it!
You’re welcome. And in my own opinion, I think that it would’ve been a little more cheesy if the villain had stayed on the hate-filled path, like most do.
One glance was all it took for the rage to bubble over.
A body on the cement floor and a man slinking in the darkness.
“You KILLED HIM!” Irene’s enraged look darted toward the man in the corner.
“I did nothing of the sort, he killed himself with his own incompetence and irrationality.”
The confident words coming out of his mouth made Irene want to stab him on the spot.
“He won, He PASSED your ‘tests’ and you killed him! That wasn’t the deal Demetri!”
“We did not create a deal nor a pact. I killed him for the greater good of the people. He was a villain, similar to you.”
Demetri’s smug attitude danced across his smirking lips but could not reach his fidgeting hands. To hold an air of confidence in his posture and attitude was a smart move, he knew how Irene loved mind games, to show any sign of weakness in the emotions was fatal. Yet it was also a wise precaution to stay aware near her. If she called upon her innate abilities she could easily crush him in an area of such magnitude and ferocity as the chambers which they currently stood in.
Irene pushed through the anger and grief and sought after a different goal. She slyly started gliding across the room towards Demetri. He had since moved toward the middle of the cavern as to remain close to his enemy to prevent further use of her power. She widely circled Demetri.
“I thought you would have more honor than this Demetri. Being a hero and all.” She sighed deeply, “Tsk tsk, I’m sure everyone will forgive you for a simple murder.” Sarcasm and pity were written along her vengeful face.
Demetri was becoming aware of the mind tricks she was attempting to play with him but somehow couldn’t help succumbing. “You know nothing of my people. When I return honor will be the only thing I receive.”
Irene feigned surprise, gasping, “OH! They’re YOUR people now? Well then, I guess that means HE was one of your people too!” She aggressively pointed towards Platinum’s body on the ground.
“YOU KILLED ONE OF YOUR OWN PEOPLE, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU?”
The feelings of caution and fear were no longer suppressed as Demetri backed up, eyes wide, tripping and landing on the cement ground.
“A HERO? A LEADER?”
Irene pounded toward him leaning over the cowering shadow of a man. His immaculate brains couldn’t get him out of the punishment he was due for. He had stepped over the line, and he had a feeling he would regret it for the rest of his life. He hid behind his shivering arm. Irene studied his cowardice and leaned in closer, whispering, “You shake and cower in my presence and you think your plan’s and creations can save you?”
She touched her pointer and middle fingers to her temples as if preparing to attack. He tried scrambling backward, his hands scraped the uneven rock and his eyes burned with fear.
Irene lowered her hands and laughed at his feeble attempt at escape. She scoffed as she glared and spoke in a low tone, “You are NOTHING without your creations except hollow muscle and a big head.”
He looked up at her and saw the revenge in her eyes as she backed towards the door, their eyes locked the entire time.
“But I won’t kill you. Not yet. You’ve earned something special for what you did today.”
She pulled out a gun, turned around, and strode towards the door. Demetri was stunned, he had always been able to suppress her emotion affliction but he realized he had hit a heartstring with Platinum. She opened the door, stepped out and fired the gun into the air, alerting the police. She turned, “When they find you… I want you to try. Try your hardest. Use all of the ‘brainpower’ you want against me. Because you’re going to need it.”
She reached into her pocket, crookedly smirking, a dangerous look in her eyes. She threw a flash-grenade into the room, took one last glance at Platinums dull body, and watched Demetri until the last second.
“Let the games begin.” She spun around and slammed the door behind her.
Just sort of started and winged it :b It’s not my best but I thought the prompt was pretty cool. Hopefully, you guys like it, please let me know 😀 Any feedback is really appreciated ❤
You know it wasn’t supposed to end like this. I yelled for days or even weeks. oh! how I yelled. You promised me that you would never leave me behind, that we will always be together and yet you up and vanished.
I am sitting in this untouched room, the lingering memories of our carefree happy days. Full of laughing and smiling. So, tell me, how was I supposed to know you would leave so sudden?
Like the seasons through the years.
A promise that seemed like yesterday, vivid senses come to mind. Like when you spilled ketchup on your shirt from lunch, or how you were a mess from the all-nighter due to a silly video game where the next level was the last but never really was.
I clenched my fists, my anger overflowing. This anger takes the form like an ocean, it wants to destroy everything you owned or touched. It rages over the houses leaving nothing but rubble and destruction. YOU PROMISED ME. Why did you leave me? We pinkie promised and even sealed it with a kiss.
How could you make me so angry after all these weeks? This hole in my chest should be to carry on your memory but all I can think of is why did you do it. Our score was uneven.
I was supposed to win, and yet you did, in the very end. Like always.
Tears blur my vision as I slam my fist into your untouched bed. Trying to beat this feeling prying into my brain.
All I knew was that you were gone. I stood up to walk out of your room, I reached up to wipe the unwelcome tears that streamed down my face.
This is about 2 middle school boys.
The point of view is weird but I wanted to leave something here.
It’s about this kid (writer’s view) who is angry at his friend for leaving him and how he doesn’t accept what has happened to his best friend.
The protagonist is me (the angry boy) as well the antagonist, he doesn’t know how to feel and tries to blame his friend but he can’t because he left before he could blame someone other than himself.
I have bad grammar and I’m not the best writer but I had fun with this. Also, I cried while reading this and a few others.
The letter shook and trembled in my hand. I could not believe what I just read. I looked at my parents, tears forming, sliding down my face. I was shaking. I collapsed onto the floor in tears and sobs. My heart was broken. James. I screamed and cried. Father picked me up and carried me to my room. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t eat. I just sat and stared at the wall until I cried next. My best friend. James, I often said. I knew that at least he was a live, but his betrayal stung colder than the bitterest December wind. James. We would no longer be James and Elizabeth.
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